how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
