Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just cut my nipple shaving
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
