all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize