Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
that's an acceptable place to lick
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He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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