if you like me you must not know who I am
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
