i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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