This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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