all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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