i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
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this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
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Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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