so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
this just has baby written all over it
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
