Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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