Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
