kristin has been a bad kristin
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
