He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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