I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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