He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
