I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
