i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
