JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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