i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
