Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Randomize
