my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
