I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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