Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
