If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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