yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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