According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
