three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
