In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize