he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
