that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
