I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Someone shattered a urinal.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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