at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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