Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
