"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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