what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
