distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
