eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
