Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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