I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm bleeding and have questions
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
