Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
