a queef is a wish your heart makes.
handjob tips. give me some.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
