I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
oh god was she eating orange peels again
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
