why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
