If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i will never coherently bang her
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize