That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
