Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
