you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
