oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize