come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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