Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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