I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
