You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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