Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We were destined to go to rehab together
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
