My nipple is on Facebook.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
