Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
